When my mother was four, her grandmother died. And I was an egg in my mother when her grandmother was feeling really sad.

The story goes, she was suppose to watch some kiddos. Cousins of my mothers. I forget which Aunt. But she wasn’t feeling well that day and she called it off. The babysit. And I just found out about this family information when I was thirty-eight or so.

A therapeutic tool anyone can use to ground and present mind themselves is : (name your five physical sense and one data point from each). Because today I also felt the emotion that is sad. And I called my mom and I was honest with my mom about how sad I was feeling. I don’t want to feel more sadness in my future and the human body is designed to feel neutral.

I choose to feel more optimistic in my past and the story in my head is coming from 9000 random thoughts a day and a subconscious that wants today to feel a lot like my yesterdays just because that’s what it’s comfy with.

Homework: Write a letter to yourself as though you are turning 100 tomorrow. Dear …,

And then, tonight before bed for an hour, put your phone down and think about what an optimistic future feels like. The last hour before you slumber, no electronics if you can, and journal your 100 year old self a letter.

Dear Mentality,