10 seconds

Before I disappear for a bit - would you do me a favor?

can you love yourself
for just ten seconds?

can you love yourself
no matter what

the marks on your arms that you
gave yourself yesterday

or what the cruel words he said
that has now nested in your ears?

can you love yourself
despite

the image your crooked mirror
reflects back at you

or the stack of yellowing bills
on your counter

the fresh clump of hair
resting on your shower drain?

can you love yourself
even though

you now have matching holes in your
favorite shirt and heart

and fresh creases on your face that
weren’t there yesterday?

can you love yourself
no matter what

the scale in
your bathroom

says about you?

can you just love yourself
for ten seconds?

that’s it
just ten seconds

please don’t shake your head

take my hand

and take
just ten seconds
to remember

how lovely you are

that’s it
ten seconds

go ahead and give it a try

take a deep breath
and I’ll count for you

1)
your name is the first word of somebody’s favorite sentence

2)
you are the trembling cocoon - just ready to burst into colors nobody else has ever seen before

3)
you are perfect right now as you are - yes, you are - yes, you are perfect right now - your scars are what make you beautiful

4)
your tears are shaped like seeds for a reason - they are growing your new eden one drop at a time

5)
the holes in you have become a wind instrument that plays your redemption song

6)
you are not your past crimes, sins, mistakes or failures - you are the rising fire - you are the resurrected heartbeat - you are the reborn tigress - you are the reclamation of purpose - you are the baptismal river - you are the same untouched soul that you were on your very first day - you are still who you were born to be

7)
you are a sunflower growing in the cracked sidewalk

8)
you are what angels write poetry about in the trees

9)
you are in the middle of your story - this isn’t your end - this is just the part in the story where you face the dragon - this despair you are feeling is limited to this page - there are so many pages to come - there are so many new words ready for you to read - each page of your story smells like morning rain - there is so much of your story left to be told - your final chapter will someday be called “How I Became a Wind Chime in The Storm”

10)
you are eternal
you are eternal
you are eternal

everything else
is temporary

you will outlive your fears
you will outlast your anxieties
you will outrun your suffering

when everything that is troubling you reaches it’s expiration date - you will keep going

you were lit long ago
to never be put out

everything else
is temporary

you are eternal
you are eternal
you are eternal

there!

we made it ten seconds

could you love yourself
for that long?

I know it’s hard
but
can we try again?

this time
you count
to ten

and with every second
remember the truth

of who you are

and what you were
created to be

and say it out loud
and honor your existence
and fall in love with yourself

all over again

my hands are shaking too

let’s try counting to ten again

1) you are beautiful
2) you are beautiful
3) you are beautiful
4) you are beautiful
5) you are beautiful
6) you are beautiful
7) you are beautiful
8 ) you are beautiful
9) you are beautiful

10) you are so beautiful

~ john roedel